Category: Self-love

Releasing the Need for Control

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Control gives us the illusion of safety. We plan, predict, and perfect—hoping that if we can manage every detail, we can protect ourselves from disappointment, heartbreak, or failure. But the truth is, control often keeps us tense instead of safe.

When we cling too tightly, we stop trusting the flow of life. We move from fear instead of faith. We overthink instead of allowing things to unfold. And before we know it, we’ve traded our peace for the false promise of certainty.

But self-love requires surrender. It’s the soft acceptance that things can still work out even if they don’t go according to plan. It’s knowing that your peace doesn’t depend on perfection—it depends on your willingness to let life love you back.

So this week, loosen your grip. Allow space for surprise. Let yourself believe that what’s meant for you doesn’t need to be controlled—it will arrive when you’re ready to receive it.

Rich Rising Affirmations: “I Trust the Flow”

Monday: I release the illusion of control and trust that life is unfolding for my good.

Manifest: Take three slow, deep breaths and visualize yourself exhaling everything you’ve been holding onto.

Tuesday: I am grounded, even when things feel uncertain.

Manifest: Repeat this whenever anxiety creeps in—especially when plans shift unexpectedly.

Wednesday: I don’t chase outcomes; I align with them.

Manifest: Focus on small aligned actions today, not perfection.

Thursday: I give myself permission to rest in the unknown.

Manifest: Reflect on a time when something worked out better than you could’ve planned—remind yourself how it felt.

Friday: I trust that what’s meant for me will find me with ease.

Manifest: Close your week by releasing one worry and writing down one thing you’re grateful for right now.

This week’s reminder:

Peace isn’t found in control—it’s found in trust. You don’t have to force what’s already yours.

Trusting the Process in the Middle of It All

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The hardest part of growth isn’t starting—it’s staying faithful in the middle. When the vision is clear but the results feel slow, doubt creeps in. You question if it’s worth it, if you’re doing enough, or if it will ever happen.

But here’s the truth: the middle is where the magic happens. It’s where your discipline is sharpened, your faith is tested, and your resilience is built. Trusting the process means believing that even when you can’t see the finish line, every step forward is shaping you into the person who can carry what you’re asking for.

So give yourself grace. Celebrate the small wins. Rest when you need to, but don’t quit. Your breakthrough is being built brick by brick, and you’re further along than you think.

💭 Where in your life do you need to lean into trust right now? How can you honor the process instead of rushing it?

✨ Stay faithful. Keep moving. The process is working for you.

3 Ways to Trust the Process This Week

Focus on the step, not the staircase – Take it one move at a time. The big picture can overwhelm you, but daily steps will carry you to the vision.

Celebrate progress over perfection – A small win is still proof that you’re moving forward. Honor it, no matter how minor it feels. After all, small moves make big changes.

Speak faith into your waiting – Replace “it’s not happening” with “it’s happening for me in perfect timing.” Your words keep you aligned with belief, not doubt.

Rich Rising Affirmations + Manifest

Monday:

✨ I trust the process even when I can’t see the outcome.

Manifest: Use this when you feel uncertain—remind yourself faith is greater than fear.

Tuesday:

✨ Every step I take is progress, no matter how small.

Manifest: Speak this when impatience rises—progress is still progress.

Wednesday:

✨ I am becoming the woman my goals require me to be.

Manifest: Repeat when the journey feels long—growth is shaping your strength.

Thursday:

✨ Delays are not denials—everything is aligning in divine timing.

Manifest: Say this when things don’t go as planned—trust the timing, not the clock.

Friday:

✨ I am worthy of the vision I carry, and I will not give up on it.

Manifest: End the week affirming your worthiness and commitment to your dreams.

Standing Tall, Rooted in Grace

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Life will test you. People will misunderstand you. Circumstances will shift without warning. But when you are grounded in grace, you cannot be shaken. Grace reminds you that you are worthy even when you stumble, powerful even when you rest, and radiant even when the world tries to dim your light.

Being grounded in grace means you don’t have to force your way forward—you allow alignment to carry you. You give yourself permission to be both soft and unshakable, gentle and firm.

3 Ways to Show Yourself Grace This Week

Release self-criticism – Replace “I should’ve” with “I’m learning.” Speak to yourself like someone you love. Honor your energy – Rest when you’re tired, move when you’re inspired. Stop forcing and start flowing. Celebrate small wins – Don’t wait for big milestones. Every step forward is proof of your growth.

    This week, I invite you to stand tall in your own soil. Anchor yourself in love, water your spirit with kindness, and trust that you already have everything you need to flourish.

    🌱 How will you root yourself in grace this week? Where do you feel most grounded in your life right now?

    ✨ Drop your reflections or affirmations in the comments so we can grow together.

    Rich Rising Affirmations

    Monday:
    ✨ I am rooted in grace, unshakable and whole.
    Manifest: Say this to ground yourself when life feels unstable or chaotic.

    Tuesday:
    ✨ My spirit is anchored in love, and I cannot be moved by fear.
    Manifest: Repeat before difficult conversations or decisions.

    Wednesday:
    ✨ I grow stronger and more radiant with every challenge I overcome.
    Manifest: Use this when you need a reminder that obstacles grow your resilience.

    Thursday:
    ✨ I stand tall in my truth, and my presence is power.
    Manifest: Declare this before walking into rooms where you want to be seen and respected.

    Friday:
    ✨ I bloom with ease because I trust my divine alignment.
    Manifest: Speak this to affirm trust in timing and flow as the week ends.

    When you Live in Alignment, Life Flows

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    Alignment is not about perfection—it’s about harmony. When your choices, values, and actions all point in the same direction, life begins to move with more ease. You stop fighting yourself and start trusting yourself.

    Living in alignment means choosing what nourishes you, even when it’s not the easiest path. It means letting go of what drains you, even when it’s familiar. It’s a commitment to being honest with yourself and brave enough to act on that honesty.

    I know first hand how heavy seeking alignment can feel when you don’t know where to start. It’s almost like a DIY project. There is no real instruction manual. You just have hand-me-down tools that you don’t know how to work with. But that’s also the beauty in alignment. It isn’t one big project with a final destination, it’s a daily practice.

    This week, I want you to practice checking in with yourself. Do this at least 3 times a day. Pay attention to moments when you feel out of sync. Instead of judging yourself, give yourself a jump-start with AAA (see what I did there):

    1. Awareness: Pause & Listen to Yourself
    Slow down long enough to hear your own voice over the noise. Ask yourself: “What do I truly need right now?” Be honest with yourself. Your body, spirit, and intuition will always tell you when something is off. Pro Tip: Record video journals at the end of the day. Share how you feel and why. Play it back to yourself and listen as if having a conversation with your inner child. This will help you grant yourself grace and understanding.

    2. Authenticity: Release What’s Not Serving You
    Misalignment often comes from holding on too tightly—whether to people, habits, or beliefs. Write down what drains you, then commit to letting it go. This means having clear and concrete boundaries. It’s not easy, but that’s when you lean into that grace you so often give others. Give yourself permission to start, even if it’s small. Small releases free up space for flow.

    3. Alignment: Choose in Harmony With Your Truth
    Every aligned decision says: “I trust myself.” Resting when you’re tired. Saying no when you need to. Boldly stepping toward your goals. These actions bring alignment, which arises from making consistent choices. These choices are rooted in self-honor. Very much Queen status.

    Where in your life do you feel most aligned? Where do you feel the tension of being out of alignment?

    ✨ Share your reflections or your own affirmation below—let’s grow in flow together.

    Rich Rising Affirmations

    Monday:
    ✨ I move in alignment, and alignment moves blessings toward me.
    Manifest: Begin your week with clarity, calling in ease and opportunity.

    Tuesday:
    ✨ Every choice I make brings me closer to my divine purpose.
    Manifest: Speak this before making decisions—small or big—to guide yourself with intention.

    Wednesday:
    ✨ I release what no longer serves me and make space for what does.
    Manifest: Repeat this during moments of letting go—whether it’s habits, people, or thoughts.

    Thursday:
    ✨ I honor my truth, even when it challenges comfort.
    Manifest: Say this when you’re tempted to stay silent or play small; alignment requires honesty.

    Friday:
    ✨ I am magnetically aligned with peace, prosperity, and joy.
    Manifest: End your week declaring abundance and harmony as your natural state.

    The Power of Soft Strength

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    Sometimes, we think strength looks like grit, grind, and holding it all together. But real strength often whispers instead of roars. Strength comes in the quiet decision to choose peace over chaos, to prioritize your healing over proving a point, and to trust alignment over control.

    Soft strength is saying “no” without guilt. It’s resting without shame. It’s holding space for yourself in a world that keeps asking for more. This week, I want you to remember: softness does not make you weak—it makes you whole.

    Lean into your grace. Be tender with your thoughts. Treat your body and soul like the sacred space they are. There is power in your pause, beauty in your boundaries, and magic in your alignment.

    weekly affirmations

    Monday:
    ✨ I embody a strength so soft it shakes the world.
    Manifest: Starting your week knowing softness isn’t weakness—it’s your superpower.

    Tuesday:
    ✨ My boundaries are royal gates that protect my peace and purpose.
    Manifest: Protecting your energy like royalty.

    Wednesday:
    ✨ Unshakable peace flows through me, and nothing can disturb it.
    Manifest: Reclaiming your calm.

    Thursday:
    ✨ Every moment of rest I take multiplies my power and alignment.
    Manifest: Not feeling guilty for slowing down—rest is sacred.

    Friday:
    ✨ I walk in divine grace, magnetic confidence, and unstoppable abundance.
    Manifest: Becoming the energy you seek.

    Reflection

    What does soft strength look like in your life? How can you practice it this week?

    ✨ Share your reflections or your own affirmation in the comments. Let’s inspire each other to move with grace and power.

    25 Gender Inclusive Ways to Say “Hey Guys”

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    One of my goals for this year is to stop using gender specific pronouns in group settings. I’m still working on it. It’s challenging, but whatever weak minded excuse you can put here to pardon our comfortable ignorance simply isn’t a good enough reason to ignore people’s identities. Plus for me personally, there’s like this weird voice that comes naturally when I start filming content that makes the phrase “hey guys” sound worse than it already does. No bueno.

    As we celebrate PRIDE MONTH and the 52nd anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, It’s my responsibility to encourage active alley and creating inclusive environments, especially in this little corner of the internet. So I took the liberty of making this handy little list of alternative and inclusive pronouns in hopes we can all continue to grow and be the best advocates for EVERYONE (see what I did there), not only during PRIDE, but each and every day.

    *Friendly reminder: These are strictly for group settings. When interacting on a personal level, I encourage you to seek out the individuals name and preferred pronoun and address the person as such.

    Everybody / Everyone

    Folks / Folx

    Yall / You all / We all

    All Yall / All of you / Each of you

    We all

    People

    Humans

    Members

    Humankind

    Yinz (if you’re in/from Pittsburgh)

    ‘N them (followers n them)

    Any appropriate adjective with the word people (Party people, Beautiful people, Good people)

    Friends

    Darlings

    Crew

    Chums

    Congregation

    Allies

    Beings that aren’t defined by social constructs like pronouns—haha!

    Food names (Pumpkins, Muffins, Cupcakes, etc.)

    Beloved

    Peeps

    Comrades

    Squad

    Team

    So now that we have a starter list of alternative and inclusive group pronouns, let’s put them to practice! Look for opportunities to use these words and build a habit of inclusive language. Like I said before, no excuses!

    Taking the Scenic Route

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    Instant gratification has become the way of the world—particularly, the way of our world. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think anyone has ever been excited to be patient. (…if that’s even possible) There is something to be said for putting in the work and embracing the journey. If we are being totally honest, anything worth having requires effort. I hear my momma’s voice saying, “You get what you pay for.”

    You do get what you pay for.

    I’ll give you an example, and a trigger warning for those who need it.

    During the first year of my undergrad, I was raped. I had no clue how to move forward after the assault. I didn’t know how to talk about it. I didn’t know how to process it. I didn’t know how to heal from it, and it showed. I was struggling with feelings of shame, guilt, and unworthiness. I remember being consumed with confusion because I couldn’t determine if I felt validated because someone “wanted” me, or ashamed because I wasn’t worth loosing my virginity in a special or romantic way.

    Photo by Aaryn Muhammad of ARYxGOLD FRAMES PHOTOGRAPHY

    I went into survival mode and learned to cope with drugs, clothes, attention, and whatever else temporarily validated my insecurities. If I’m being real, I was so far gone it felt like the coping worked. I was living under the false pretense of happiness and fulfillment, and because no one was threatening my illusions of splendor, I invested in emptiness. Did you read that? I said because I lied to myself so much, for so long to cover up my pain, I built myself, my livelihood in delusion. I had no choice but to start over.

    The part that stabs at my heart is I believed the copping worked, but it didn’t. It covered up adequately, but it didn’t work for personal growth and the healing process. I truly thought I had overcome my insecurities and hit a heavenly self-love plateau. In my illusion I was perfect, but behind the false lashes I was so far from fulfilled.

    Photo by Aaryn Muhammad of ARYxGOLD FRAMES PHOTOGRAPHY

    So many time we find ourselves doing things that make us feel good after trauma, and that’s cool but it’s important to remember to do things that are uncomfortable so we don’t end up living in toxicity.

    I’ll be honest, these days I’m still working toward healing the right way. I’m still building the habit of wildly and unapologetically loving myself. I’m still growing into fulfillment, and that’s okay! Don’t get me wrong, it’s taking foreverrr, and the process is a messy one, but this time I want to intentionally invest in my best self. I needs that ROI, okay?! So, the ancestors and I are buckled in for the journey—we’re trusting the process in full and taking the scenic route.

    Style Session: FTF Cozy Neutrals

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    I am so here for this style session—oh, that’s cute— we may need to officially name these Style Sessions…

    Anyway, last week I had the opportunity to visit my Alma Mater, California University of Pennsylvania. Since the campus was closed due to COVID-19, my sister and I got to do fun little fall shoot at some of my favorite places on campus, mask free.

    I wanted to do a super neutral look, because… well, I love her, and I wanted something comfy since we’d be walking all over campus. I ended up styling the Katherine Side Zip Sweater, which is an oversized cream pullover with gold zipper details on the side from Fashion to Figure. I paired it with these super comfy Jordana High Rise Shiny Leggings, also of the Fashion to Figure variety.

    From there, I threw in these over the knee boots, which are super vintage Fashion to Figure, and my favorite fall accessory, a camel colored wide brim hat from Forever 21. This look is super comfy, super cute, super neutral, and super in season.

    This Blog was sponsored by Fashion to Figure and you can use my code, FTFARI, for money off on all of your orders from fashiontofigure.com.

    Style Session: FTF Warm Weather Fall Look

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    Fall fashion is everyone’s favorite, me included. I love the layers and extra accessories, as well as the nude and earth toned colors. Simply put, fall fashion is my aesthetic, and I love it here.

    Most of you know I have an ongoing partnership with one of my favorite plus exclusive brands, Fashion to Figure. Because of this, I decided to start better documenting the outfits I style with their pieces and get consistent with blogging the style details again, and what better time than Fall to start?

    I wanted to do a cute & casual warm weather fall look, with semi basic pieces, so I started with the Black Ultra High Rise Self Tie Skinny Jeans. These pants are ultra-fitted with a good amount of stretch. I especially love the self-tie belt because it gives that extra detail to your outfit whether you do a crop top or a bodysuit.

    I coupled the pants with the Naomi Animal Print Ruched Blouse. This is my favorite crop top of the season so far. I love the sleeves, the material, and the neckline. More than that, I love the crop tie strings that allow you to adjust the shirt’s length.
    To style, I added a black wide brim hat with gold detail from forever 21, and these very comfy red strappys from Torrid, paired with a red lip. Because my shoes have the bow detail around the ankle, I cuffed my skinnys, and what do you know? A look!

    This Blog was sponsored by Fashion to Figure and you can use my code, FTFARI, for money off on all of your orders from fashiontofigure.com.

    Meet Rayne Stewart: Vitiligo Warrior

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    I want to be like Rayne Stewart when I grow up. Rayne is one of the many Americans suffering from Vitiligo, a non-curable condition causing discoloration and the loss of pigment in skin cells. Vitiligo affects nearly 50 million humans worldwide, and as many as 5 million citizens of the United States. It can be associated with other side effects such as psychological stress and hair discoloration.

    Rayne was only 8 years old when she was diagnosed. In addition to the stress of the loss of her favorite aunt to ALS, and grandfather to cancer, Rayne suffered emotionally with fears and feelings of inadequacy, and being bullied in school. After moving to Loch Raven, Baltimore, Maryland at the start of 7th grade, and with the help of a close family friend, Rayne decided she was done trying to fit into the mold, and began embracing her Vitiligo. “I started looking at it as something that makes me unique,” she said.


    Now only 14 years young, Rayne is a vitiligo warrior and using her voice to change the way children (and adults) who suffer from the condition view themselves. “I don’t mind the questions, and I understand the stares, because I know being different is not a bad thing,” she explained. Rayne has graced numerous schools, conventions, panels and communities with her rendition of self-acceptance. She even went on to write a children’s book called, Perfectly Different, which explains Rayne’s journey with vitiligo.

    Rayne realized she wanted to write a book after seeing her cousin release a book series a few years ago. It took her 1 year but she wrote it, in it’s entirety, by herself; and, has sold over 300 books so far! Rayne admits she still suffers from body acceptance in some ways, but overall is thrilled with the progress she’s made and feedback she gets from people, especially children, who have read the book.

    With current dreams of Broadway stardom, and one day meeting Ellen, Rayne continues to use her voice to empower others. The ninth grader is even considering a new book about transitioning from middle school to high school. Rayne’s story is different, and her influence is powerful. Her courage to share her story at such a young age is it only selfless, but also empowering. Because of this young queen, more people are learning to love the beauty in being perfectly different. Ya girl is HERE.FOR.IT!

    Learn more about Rayne Stewart, and grab a shirt like mine by visiting her website www.perfectlydifferent.net/ and her Instagram.